I'm not sure if it is the pregnancy hormones but I have suddenly been consumed with how Harrison will be affected by the arrival of Harper. I cry anytime I think about how this will rock his little world. There is nothing in me that thinks I can not love two babies, I know I can...I was MADE to be a mom! But how can I bring this precious baby girl into our home and make sure that Harrison feels all the love his little heart needs. I am just scared that I will be so consumed with the routine of a newborn (let's face it, nursing is the most consuming job you can have) that I put Harrison on hold and I refuse to let that happen. I know that we will make our own routines, and we will figure out what works for our family, but right now the uncertainty of what that looks like has me blinking back tears on a daily basis.
One day last week I was listening to the new Taylor Swift cd. I was washing dishes as the playlist reached a song called "Never Grow Up" With everything weighing so heavy on my mind I lost it. I sat at my kitchen table and had myself a good ole sob session. Yes, you read that correctly, I bawled my eyes out to Taylor Swift. Call me whatever you want, just don't say it to my face....I will cry :) I thought I would share with you the words that I found so touching. (To all my prego/postpartum friends out there, you may want to stop reading here.)
Your little hands wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreamingSo I tuck you in and turn on your favorite nightlight
To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have honey
If you could stay like that
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you
Wont let no one break your heart
No one will desert you
Just try to never grow up
Never grow up
